Objected Merger

My art is inspired from raw emotions and thoughts. When I paint, I do not know what I will paint I only know the colors I will use. I let the painting evolve on its own as I am merely a vessel to assist the colors come together.

Can you solve the riddle and how does this affect your thoughts? Pulled between two lives a struggle tears the fabric of my reality. Dreams and reality are no longer distinguishable. A dream like existence blurs the line of my focus. A history repeated with the alertness to watch. Am I merging or breaking apart?